i'm loosing it - no i don'tmean weight

I just logged in and saw all your great success sis - way (weigh!) to go -- having a moment and just need to vent. I don't want to turn to the bag of miss vickie's my kids have in the kitchen. I am struggling with the demands of being a divorced single mom - with all the responsibilities ... I have great kids but they are kids and have challenges of their own that I somehow seem to take on. I am feeling the pressure. My neighbour rented his house out to university students and this weekend they decided to throw a "kegger" party that got way way out of control== and I don't know why but it has upset me a lot more than it should have. I was up for hours worrying about these really aggressive drunk university students -- watching the police arrest them -- it was not a fun experience not to feel safe in your own home-

I want to make sure i am not just making excuses - need to make more time for myself.

Aother swim done...

...and it was awesome!

The slow lane and the medium lanes were both crowded so I opted for the fast lane. I am definitely not in shape for that but it made me push myself and I held my own. It was a fantastic workout and right now I have the really good post exercise fatigue, muscles feel worked out and I am now home and warm. Plans are made to meet up again on Tuesday so we are on our way to making this a habit. Unfortunately though, walking back to the car I discovered this real cool loooking little bakery. The choclate chip cookies in the window looked amazing. Maybe one day I will plan for a treat there althoguh I probably don't need to know if their stuff is good. Ihave exercised every day since Tuesday! Not sure about skating tomorrow, we'll see maybe it will end up being a rest day instead. Feel really good right now especially because I just had Quinoa salad for lunch mmmm love that stuff!!!

On a roll.....

...exercise wise and it feels great. After my swimm on Tues, I went fopr a walk Wed (my longer route- 3.4K) and also a walk yesterday (about 2k). Today I plan to ride my exercise bike and tomorrow I am making plans to go swimming again. Sunday might be a skating day. It feels great to be getting back to a habit of regular exercise and coincidentally (not really) I have been staying on track with WW and eating within my points. Yay. Ok so it is 1/2 week out of the many that will need to follow but it feels really good to be on track- why would I mess that up?

Later:

So I managed to do 30 mins on the exercise bike which is longer than I can usually do- 20 mins has been the max until now mostly because I get bored but today I had a magazine to read as well as the TV so it wasn't too bad. Evn better, my plans for swimming have been confirmed- whoo hoo!

My Swim

OK so I have been talking about this forever and finally for the first time since the outdoor pool closed at the end of the summer I got back in the pool. Yay! It took making plans to meet up with a friend to get me there but hey it worked. I had wicked headaches all day long yesterday and if it was just me I wouldn't have gone. Lying on the couch wasn't making my headaches any better so I figured I might as well try a swim. It went OK although my bathing cap hurt so I had to take it off. I can't say I swam well but I did swim, lots of rests at the end of the lane to but that is OK as I work my way back into it. We swam for about 1/2 hour which I am happy with . By the end I started feeling really nauseous which sometimes happens to me when I have bad headaches but it went away after about 1 hr. I could feel the knots in my neck and shoulders when I swimming so I think keeping this up will be good for that. We are going to commit to a 1x/week swim for sure and try for a 2nd when we can. Yay!!

So So weekend

Could have been better, could have been worse. Haven't done much on the exercise front the second half of the week and the healthy eating has slipped as well. Ahhh oh well still trying. Have made plans to meet a friend for swimming on Tues PMs so hopefully that works out. Food wise I am going to pick out a couple of new recipes to try and try to have meals partly made to help keep me on track.

Okay so things have been pretty good this week - but how do I know when I will not write it down (I think it is because I really do not want to know how much I am eating and then I can not blame it all on genetics) So today will commit to writing everything down - hard to do on a Saturday. But the kids are really supportive and I will use their changes as inspiration - and no it did not go easily a lot of up and downs but the end is what matters. I am off to walk to the mall to pick up a lullaby cd for a baby gift.

okay ditched the ww meeting yesterday because i might be up .5 lb???? what is with that??? back on track and had everything organized today -- now kidling called - sick - had to take to doc....... long story short I will not be making it to the gym at the end of my day. I was a little frustrated but realized i have to run with the punches and will make sure I walk LB tonight - kidling is pretty sick so I don't want to leave her alone until she wakes up and I can make sure she is drinking -- we will leave eating till tomorrow. I do not remember any time that I was so sick that I did not eat!

Will get this all going again - how did the walk go sis? the quinoa salad was (is) amazing!!

Awesome!!

I think we are both back on track!

Small changes, one foot in front of the other and eventually we will get there! I struggled a bit the last few days with not being satisfied with my meals and feeling like something more. I ended up using 23 of my extra points over the last few days to get me through but hey that is what they are for! And today I find myself full after dinner with 9 points left- go figure. I still have to get in 2 fruit/veggies and might have some popcorn later for a snack. No exercise today but I have exercised the last 5 days in a row. Will do something tomorrow.

Now I am off to go work on my assignment....coming up with a full day meal plan to share with my sister and maybe try out this week.

so has been an interesting 2 weeks - I certainly am more conscious about what I am eating and how much I am eating. I am hoping it will result in wt loss -- but it is the balance of energy in and out - still need to watch the portions and make sure i am exercising. Have a dog with me for a few days so i am certainly walking more and walked to and from a friends house - even though my friends tried to "push" a ride on me. I did not get home till almost midnight - but enjoyed the walk. I am going to do this - with you sis - love the quinoa

Back from my walk...

Just got in from my walk to do some errands. My goal this week was to increase my activity from 0 to 7 activity points earned. I think my walk today brings me to 7 and I still have 2 more days :) It is not alot really and certainly not more than I used to do. Was I really that girl who ran at lunch, taught aqua fit after work and then went to my 1 hour masters swimming workout? Or the person who went for a run before a full day of downhill skiing because I wanted to get a work out in? Yikes no wonder my friends all thought I was nuts. Anyways I am far from thatnow but this week has been a huge improvement over doing nothing so I am very happy with my efforts. I will keep the same goal for next week as it is achievable and a good start to building my way back to fitness. Now off to finish my lunch of quinoa salad. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM love the quinoa!

Here we go again

Weighed in again this am but at home- will do the meeting thing next week.

Had a good day yesterday, tracked everything, met all the HGs and stayed within points. Will try for the same againtoday but with exercise. I am about to head downstairs and ride my ex bike. Think I might aim to ride in te ride for heart again this year. That would be an acheivable goal, lots of time to get in shape for it and it is a fun event. So off to go get started.

ETA: I did my 20 mins on the bike, ok for a start and it felt OK

Trying....

.... but haven't quite got it together yet. I start the day eating properly and tracking but it hasn't been ending that way :O I haven't got it together again on the exercise either. Oh well gotta keep plugging away, fake it til I make it.

Yeah, here we go again, baby steps. This week I commit to tracking again.

one more time

okay so we talked and agreed we need to do this. I heard that people who are successful share their successes -- even the small ones. The small ones build up towards the large ones. It is finding the success in every situation that helps us to move forward. Even when we are not quite perfect - that is a success in itself - recognizing that is important and not being hard on ourselves. So back to ww i went today. Lets see how my big sis does.

Cheers